Hargett, Party of 5!

It has been almost 4 years since I've written here. I will fill in the middle parts another day. For now, I have news to share. Today was Thomas' last day as an only child. Tomorrow, February 27, 2015, we have two foster boys moving into our home. If all goes as planned, we can adopt them later this year. Two blonde-headed little boys: the oldest will be 4 in a month, and the little guy turns two a month after that. Mid-May, our three boys will be aged 2, 4, & 6. 

Thomas, you have the hardest job in this, and you are nothing short of awesome, a rockstar, & a champion. We have all waited a long time for this day, but you, I feel, most of all. Your brothers already think you are the cream of all crops, and I wish they understood what it does to people to hear you introduce them... "This is my brother." I know you do. 

Tomorrow is a new normal. Here we go, boys.......

we have news to share...

we are expecting again! as of today, the baby is almost 10 weeks. it was a surprise for us, but we are excited, just the same! the chinese calendar (take it or leave it) says it is female, and the due date is february 14th.

a baby girl, on valentine's day...  i just don't have words for that.

Mother's Day thanks

There are some people who, in my mind, deserve recognition today. First, the staff and doctors at Norton's Women's Clinic. They take such good care of so many women. We will always hold dear... Dr. Marion, who conducted my d&c and delivered Thomas; Dr. Dean and Dr. Brass who guided the initial decisions for Holly's birth; and especially, Dr. Jarvis, whose gentle spirit was welcome company during Holly's delivery. Second, the ladies in Labor & Delivery at Floyd Medical Center, who help celebrate Mother's Day every day. Our thanks... to Amy and Mindi, who went above and beyond the call to make us both comfortable and to help in any way we needed; to Kaye, who came to poke and prod at 3am, but did it so kindly and gently that I couldn't possibly get upset; and to Amelia, who held my hand and wiped my tears.  Dr. Jarvis and Amelia will forever hold a very special place in our hearts for carrying us through such a hard day. I think about those two all the time, but especially today.

2 months see mickey

Earlier this year, we booked a trip to Disney World for the first week of May.  My childhood best friend and her husband are members of the vacation club, were not going this year themselves, so they offered to help us get there. I wasn't looking forward to making the trek pregnant, but we decided to plan it anyway. It would be a while before we could go again, and we figured a 2 year old would need down time just like a pregnant mama would. There began the toddler countdown...'2 months see Mickey'.

The weeks immediately following the making of those plans made us wonder if we would actually get to go. As dim as our future started to seem, we held onto the frail hope of giving Mickey a 'hi-pive'. 

When I came into my house 3 weeks ago yesterday, it was 5 hours after giving birth to our stillborn daughter. When I came into my house yesterday (technically today, it was 2 a.m.), it was 8 (or so) hours after leaving 'the happiest place on earth'. I am lost for words (make note of that, it doesn't happen often) to describe to you how grateful I am for so many things.

When we arrived at our place of lodging, while checking in, the gentleman asked us if we were celebrating anything. In some round-about way, yes, but it was not the time or place to share why. We later realized that there is a button for just about any sort of celebration. Thomas is the proud owner of a '1st Visit' button. The gentleman's question stuck with me, tho, and I wondered if there might be a 'Healing' button. That is for sure what the next 6 days brought with them. "Somebody" knew that Kirk, Missy, and Thomas were going to need a week at Disney World, the first week of May 2011, just the three of them.

We had spent 4 and a half amazing days making the most of the term 'park hopper'. We had done everything possible to do with a 2 year old. If we hadn't done it, we didn't feel like we would later regret not doing it. We decided that we would spend Thursday morning at Magic Kingdom, since it was where Thomas, without a doubt, had the most fun.  He would drive the itinerary, and when everyone faded and we had normally gone back to the room to nap or at least regroup... that would be when we got in the car to start homeward. We had absolutely no agenda for the day.  Our vacation had been beyond amazing and couldn't get any better. We were wrong. As we left the carousel and headed for the teacups, Kirk heard someone calling his name. We turned around to find his childhood best friend, wife, and 2 year old son. For the next 5 hours, we followed their agenda, dumbfounded that we really were all there together.

I will share more about our trip later, but want to focus on this now.  We give our thanks to God for these lifelong friends: one who generously provided our vacation, and the other, who was there with us.

a name for our angel

We went for a fetal echocardiogram today at Egleston in Atlanta. The tech came in and looked at her, but only for a short time. He left the room saying, "Because of her position, i want the doctor to come help me look." After returning with the doctor, they both looked for just a moment. The doctor's gentle voice shared with us that they were so very sorry, but they did not see any heart activity.  When the tech left the first time, Kirk and I both knew.  Our baby girl was no longer with us in spirit. God had taken her home. They left us alone for a while, and during that time, we named her. Our baby girl's name is Holly.

We will meet with Dr. Dean at Norton's in the morning at 11 to discuss details, and then eventually to Floyd to deliver.

Our hearts and minds have tried to process emotionally and logistically in a gazillion different directions. While we are not looking forward to the next few hours and days, we are somehow at peace.  Our tears are of sadness, but also of relief. We are relieved that she has been healed in God's own time. We have three children, and two of them are playing together today.

In the few hours since we have been home, Thomas has already done his share of healing our hearts. If you know our child, you know the joy he is to all he encounters. Our souls are heavy tonight, but our smiles are big and bright. He is our precious gift from heaven that we are allowed to hold here on earth. And we are especially grateful for that gift today.

We will share more as we travel this road.  Thank you, already, for your hugs, prayers, and your love. You each do your part in making this bearable. We give thanks for you! God bless you all!

the "new" life of the hargett family

Hi! We're the Hargett family. Just your average family: father, mother, 2 year old son, with a black lab in the backyard. We learned early in December of 2010 that our second child should join us the first week of August, 2011.  The chromosonal ultrasound in January showed that the baby's measurements were abnormal. The Ob clinic made us an appointment to go for a level 2 ultrasound on March 21. In the meantime, we learned that we were going to have a baby GIRL!

March 21 brought us into a new world of thought and emotions. we had come to grasp the possibility of downs syndrome/special needs and were prepared to come home with those results. After the doctor read the ultrasound, we were given a diagnosis of "trisomy 18".  Her head is small and misshapen. Her nose and chin are small and somewhat inset. Her fingers are folded down. There are brain and heart defects. Her position is very low. She almost sits down inside my pelvic bone. The doctor could not see some of her because of her position. Hearing that your child has a 50% chance of miscarrying/stillbirth is a hard piece of information to swallow. We were told that should she live on the outside of me, her life span would be short.... hours, weeks. she probably wouldn't see her first birthday. Thomas was at home with Kirk's parents and they had planned to stay as long as we needed them. We thought we might have a lunch date and maybe do a little shopping on the way home. We drove from the clinic lot straight to our driveway and ran inside to hold Thomas.

As we spent the next hours and days processing all of this news, we experienced (and still are) an outpouring of love, support, and prayers that is impossible to describe. We would not be this strong if it weren't for our family of faith. It literally spans the globe. To say 'thank you' seems so trivial, but we beg you to know that we cherish each of you and your concern for our family.

We have an appointment on April 11 for a 'fetal echo cardiogram', and a second level 2 ultrasound on the 18th.  Until then, I can only take care of her and myself as i know best.... help her to grow. A comforting word that came from the OB was that my body doesn't know that her chromosomes are screwed up. My body is caring for her just like it cared for Thomas. We can hope that she grows and maybe that she will rise up some so that we can 'see' her better and get more accurate measurements.

On a happy note: We took Thomas to the aquarium yesterday and evidently, she enjoyed it too. I felt her move several times. I am only 21 weeks and should just now be feeling her move myself, but she even let her daddy feel her move last night!

This past week, a song came on the radio that really sat strong on my heart. Most specifically the choruses:

"Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly"

"Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly"

"Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly"
('Whatever you're doing (something heavenly)' by Sanctus Real)

So, whatever He's doing inside of me....... it's something heavenly!